Shuffling the Deck

I guess I'm not good at card or board games. My Opa taught me how to play a European card game called Sixty-Six, or Schnapsen. This game was fun and since it was Germany, we didn't play with poker or Bicycle cards. We played with Bavarian cards. Instead of hearts, diamonds, clubs and spades, the suites were hearts (herz), bells (schelle), acorns (eichel), and leaves (grün). And the cards weren't 2 through 10 with Jack, Queen, King, Ace. They were 6 thru 10 with inferior (unter), superior (ober), king (könig) and ace (ass). And because it was different than what I was used to in the states, I naturally thought they were better. To me everything German was automatically better.

Bavarian playing cards

Anyway, I never beat him at this card game. It's understandable. He put in plenty of hours playing this with his buds in the gasthof, and I was just some teenage noob. Occasionally he'd play war with me. Somehow he'd still beat me 75% of the time. Is that even possible? Shouldn't it be more like 50% of the time?

I never really got any better at games. Fast forward 20 years and my 5-year-old beats me at cards. Of course I handicap myself but dang it, that little brat beats me. Playing war with him, I do the polite thing and rig it so he wins. Same thing with Chutes and Ladders or Candyland. It's not that hard to trick a Kindergartener.

But after a while of intense losing I end up tired of it. I tell myself that I should win so I can teach him that he's not always going to win. That when he plays with his peers, they won't be losing on purpose. He should get used to losing, learn to be a good sport. So after losing several games in a row, I typically still set him up to win in a game, but somewhere along the way I decide I will try to win. It's almost always too late in the game for me to mount a comeback though. In war he'll have like three aces and four kings and it's just too much to overcome. In Chutes and Ladders he'll end up going up that tall ladder and I'll fall down that long chute. Damn.

Then the demon comes. That smug little bastard sits on my left shoulder and says to me, “Hey, cheat! The destination is more important than the road there. Listen, it's what's best for Julian. It'll teach him humility and sportsmanship. Bla bla bla.” And I agree. I can't keep letting him win. When he finds out that life is all about competition he's doomed. War has no skill. It's all predetermined by how the cards are shuffled and dealt. Chutes and Ladders involves rolling dice, but really, there's no strategy there either.

Then an angel lands on my right shoulder. What if I'm caught? Not only does it look bad, but won't it crush Julian that his dad cheated to beat him at freakin' war? And it's really my ego here in play, not a valuable life lesson nobody is learning from. My first born son won't be damaged because daddy let him win at cards.

Predictably I lose. Not fair and square though. I rigged it in his favor, and I feel rotten for it. Not because it does him a disservice in the game of life. Because I had a moral battle. I struggled briefly with the temptation to cheat my son. One of these days I will play a game with him fair and square. No chicanery. Completely legit. At that point though, his luck and skills will eclipse mine and I will lose. And for me and cards and board games, that's the norm. No angels and demons needed here.

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Would I really wanna cheat this little guy?  2016

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