Monsters in my closet

The closet in my room at the house on 8^th Street didn't have a door. I spent many nights staring in that space. The lights would reflect off the fabric and I'd see things. There's an old blog called Faces in Places. The human imagination naturally finds eyes, noses and mouths in inanimate objects. It's probably an old primitive survival instinct. It's a common phenomenon and I'm not immune. Shadows and dust played off the wrinkles in my darkened room. The textiles and garments created faces in my wardrobe. I knew what it was but was still fascinated by what I could see. Or what it looked like I could see.

Those figures bore little resemblance to anything attributable to personhood. I hesitate to label them humanoid. Just faces. Rarely were there torsos involved. Occasionally a stray limb was seen. No, these faces were akin to monsters and creatures from films like the Never-ending Story, Legend and what could be seen later on in the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies. Yes, these were fantastical beings taking temporary refuge. I wouldn't say they were imaginary. They were there alright. Perhaps not spiritually or embodied in my shirts and trousers. They manifested in the tangible form and were actually present in my closet. Physically they resided in the same plane of existence as you and I.

Brown Tom from Legend, 1985 Universal Pictures

A cave troll from the Fellowship of the Ring.  2001 New Line Cinema

Engywook and Urgl from Nevernending Story. 1984 Warner Bros

I would say a prayer of protection. No, not from the beasts that were probably not in my closet. I would pray for protection from unseen forces I never witnessed. Forces I didn't know about. I was fascinated by these monsters and it reminded me that there were things to fear out there. Things out of my control.

The nature of imagination is to find hope or search for danger. It was to create or to destroy. These monsters in my closet served as guardians. They reminded me to look to the Creator. A higher power I could never fathom to fully understand. I charged Him with taking away my worries. I charged Him with looking out for me. My guardians reminded me to care not for what lurked in the dark, but to allow myself to rest and face another day. To prepare for tomorrow unmolested with thoughts of what could disrupt. I looked forward to the rising sun. It brought a new dawn. And the next night would bring new shadows. New wrinkles created new shapes. New shapes brought new monsters.

My sister's rabbit and me. 1988

If I had to pick a single song to be the soundtrack to this post it would be...

Jewel - Only Shadows