What's the word?

Everybody at some point gets frustrated when they can't find the appropriate word to convey what they are trying to say. In fact this problem just happened to me yesterday. I get particularly flummoxed and harp on my inability to articulate my point or idea or what have you. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's obsessive, but it's a damn near unhealthy infatuation with plugging the hole in my discourse.

There is an idiom established that describes this malady. “It's on the tip of my tongue.” Yes, indeed. When this problem arrives I feel so helpless. I get cross with myself. “What is going on here?” I know that I know what I'm trying to say, but what is it that I want to say? The worst is when you know you are so damn close to catching that fleeing word. “Get over here you bastard!”

Not only is there a common saying on this topic, but there is an actual term for failing to unlock the safe to your vocabulary. It's called “lethologica”. But c'mon. Look at that word. Who would remember that word? Why would you make a term for not being able to retrieve a word from your memory bank something that you can't remember? What's the term for that? Irony.

According to the Economist most adults have between 20,000 and 35,000 words in their vocabulary. That's a lot of combinations of letters and sounds with varying definitions to try to untangle. You would think if I merely came close and could grasp an acceptable synonym that that would suffice. But no. I am a greedy person. Searching for a needle in a haystack is preferable to simply giving in and saying it's good enough. I have competing mantras at work here. My sophomore algebra teacher would often say “good enough for government work.” Well damn it. I love that for some things, but not in this case. A news director of mine once said “good enough isn't.” That's how I feel when I want to ply a word in a sentence.

The word I end up using after all attempts to express my thoughts is never good enough. I get annoyed with myself and my mind for failing me. There was a certain locution I had hoped to display but I had to settle. I get disappointed in myself. And usually, long after the fact, the word knocks at my door but it's too late. Where were you earlier when I needed you? As Tom Petty says, "don't come around here no more."

Oh, by the way, the word I was thinking of is sojourn.

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Mom, my sister and me. 1983

If I had to pick a single song to be the soundtrack to this post it would be...