Bully Pulpit

I was fortunate in my public school career. I never really had a lot of issues with bullying. An occasional jerk tried making fun of my German heritage but that never really stuck. Not too much conflict in those dozen years. I never picked on anybody with any regularity either. I mean, I was never a “tough guy” but that was only part of it. From my perspective I didn't witness an obscene amount of bullying either. There was certainly some of it going on, and to some people just a little is obscene. I'm just being realistic here.

Back in the 1^st grade we had a new girl, Jewel, move in in the middle of the year. She was significantly overweight. One day our teacher, Mrs. Derose, left the class for a few minutes. The other kids in the class just started calling Jewel names. “Fatty fatty two-by-four, can't fit through the kitchen door,” “fatso!” I knew this wasn't right and I voiced my objection, “Guys, stop it. That's not nice." My interjection failed to diminish the callous chants of the multitude. In fact, they aimed their unsympathetic vexation at me and let loose. “Jeremy and Jewel sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G...” and I regretted interfering on her behalf.

I had no opinion of Jewel. I didn't dislike her. I didn't particularly care about her, but I cringed at a mob verbally attacking an innocent person in unison. I saw it as an affront on human dignity. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” is a famous quote from the great Martin Luther King, Jr. I didn't know that quote, but it perfectly defined how I felt in the moment. Of course I reversed course when I paid the price for butting in. Now that I was the target of hate missiles I regretted my action. I felt I would have benefited from remaining on the sidelines, from sitting this one out. Too late now. So I ameliorated my present situation by saying, “No way! She's gross!” Now I was part of the herd again. But at least I tried. Lesson learned. Don't stand up to a bully if you aren't willing to take a punch.

Six years later in the seventh grade there was this kid named Lee. He had been in school with us for a few years but never “caught on”. From what I could tell, nobody was his friend. He smelled bad, often like urine. He made poor grades. He was a large kid and nonathletic. Lots of kids made fun of him. Lots of kids would punch him in the back or the arm. He had it rough. I never joined in on those exploits. I wasn't into afflicting grief on others. Persecuting kids deemed to be pathetic or feeble dorks just didn't sound like fun. It seemed like an exercise in abject and dour rubbish. Not my thing.

One time though. One time I had an opportunity to inflict abuse upon Lee and I took it. I don't know why the sudden reversal in my principles, but it happened in an instant out of nowhere. As if some unknown base instinct lay dormant where I must assert my superiority. I acted upon the surprise want to bully. I acted and I failed.

I was running late for PE. LH Rather had the main school building separate from the PE gym, cafeteria, wood shop and band hall. Connecting those locations was a covered walkway. Totally necessary for when it rained. So I was outside all by myself and I heard somebody behind me. It was Lee. He was in my PE class so he was late too. He must have been none too keen on arriving late because he was running.

In that split second I decided I was going to trip Lee. I don't know why. Maybe it was because there were no witnesses? If that's the case, then it's even worse. At least others could use the herd mentality as an excuse for their dastardly deeds. Trying to impress others, be part of the crowd. Me? I was solitary. There would have been no credit to claim. No glory to be had. Just a single undertaking of depravity. Of course, if it was that simple base instinct, I couldn't help it. It was...natural?

So Lee was behind me running. I was looking back at him and said, “Hi,” as I continued to walk in the same direction. As he was just about to pull even with me I quickly turned to get an optimal angle. “BANG!” I smashed my head on one of the evenly spaced metal support poles. My ears were ringing. My head hurt. There were no tears. I have no idea how I avoided crying. I made it to PE and went through the motions. I rubbed my head in the locker room and there was a golf ball sized knot on my forehead. Oh man that was terrible. Throughout the day it slowly dissipated. I was left with a small bruise by the final bell. I never tried to physically harm another person unprovoked again. I had no business, no cause in trying that stunt. Shame on me.

I deserved what I got. I'd like to say things got easier for Lee, but they didn't. At least in my school. By time we made it to High School Lee was gone. No clue what happened to the kid. I hope a fresh start changed things for him. In high school I saw some minor hazing of freshmen. None too bad. Other than a jackass here or there, there wasn't any regular bullying I witnessed. I for sure did not partake in the activity. The one time I tried it, it was as if God sent me a message. “This is not who you are. You are above the malcontentious labors of the asinine. Rise above such juvenile nonsense!” I am glad I knotted my head. I attempted to do harm and succeeded. I earned it. I got my justice. 


###

My mom, my cousins Eugene & and David and me in overalls and blonde hair. 1984

If I had to pick a single song to be the soundtrack to this post it would be...