Differences

Rant alert. Any views expressed here are my own and do no represent my families, friends or employers.  I maintain the ability to be objective in my professional work and strive for fairness in any coverage I contribute to.  

My senior year I was out of the gifted program and opted to take regular English with Mrs. Knight. I loved the class. She was an engaging teacher and kept me interested. She was a bit of an oddity though. She claimed to be a feminist, however she was Christian and admitted that she was submissive to her husband. She was feminist though, she'd contend. She did put up with Josh H and myself telling sexist jokes to the class daily. These were clean jokes. Jokes like this, “Why did God invent the shopping cart? So women could walk straight.” Mrs. Knight was a good sport.

Mrs. Knight was a conservative as well. This was cool though because my government and economics teacher, Mr. Anderson, was a proud liberal. There was no indoctrination by either party, just discussion and respect for differences. Students of both teachers would often have them debate each other through us. “Mr. Anderson says trickle down economics is...” and we'd get a reply from Mrs. Knight. And we'd return to Mr. Anderson. They might go back and forth like this for a week. We felt like we were stirring stuff, but they were encouraging civic discourse.

I don't remember the exact context for this statement, but it woke me up. It may have been about college applications, I don't know for sure anymore. She said to the class calmly and with a straight face, “White men are the most discriminated against class of people in the country.” And nobody challenged that statement. I believed that statement. I took her word and accepted it.  But come on!  It is impossible to claim oppression when your demographic group holds the majority of government seats and Fortune 500 board positions.  

I wasn't mad. I was okay. I told myself that I have all these advantages because of who I am. That it's only fair that I be handicapped. And that part is wholly true. However, it's bogus to say that I am discriminated against more than anybody else. And it's that kind of thinking that leads to pieces of garbage to shout out about how society is holding the white man down. There is no great Anglo or Aryan struggle in the US.

I wasn't born white and doomed to have people look at me in fear, fear that would lead to inflated amounts of police interactions because I fit the description.

I wasn't doomed to have people see me and assume I'm here illegally.

I wasn't doomed to have people think I'm a terrorist when they see me.

No, I was born and had the advantage of inheriting the right pigment attached to my skin.

I was fortunate to have an Anglo surname.

And I was damn sure lucky that I wasn't just born into an Abrahamic religion, but the right one.

Never mind the fact that I have a Y chromosome.

These all together is called hitting the genetic lottery.

For anybody to have a check mark next to all of these categories to suggest that the system is out to get him is either ignorant or a racist. To not acknowledge that circumstances out of a  person's control dictates that things will disproportionately burden them is to willfully look the other way. It doesn't mean you cannot be proud of your heritage. You don't need to apologize for things that genuinely are not your fault. You don't need feel bad for having privileges. But don't ignore reality. So what if the federal government may give preference to somebody else, all other things being equal? Because they aren't equal. The fact that somebody in a different protected status is equally qualified to me may suggest that he likely busted his butt even more than me to get there. Let it be motivation to try harder.  

I know, why not make THEM try harder? Obviously they did. It's no secret the challenges a minority may face. They are more likely to have one or both parents incarcerated, leading to being raised by an elderly relative or as a ward of the state. Add increased contact with law enforcement and it's completely reasonable to expect distrust of authority and resentment toward law enforcement. Good work is harder to come by when you have a record leading to a cycle of poverty that is oppressive and hard to break. It's only been about three generations since equality was something the courts and brave politicians set about pushing for.  If you are born with wealth in your family and certain advantages, you likely will inherit those advantages. Same thing is said for disadvantages and poverty. I am not saying to use that as an excuse for your conditions or decisions one makes. I say that as a reminder (though should one really forget?) that the struggle is real. Worse schools, worse neighborhoods, etc...

There is a quote I have seen several times.  I can't figure out who said it exactly, just that it's a seed of wisdom planted maybe 20 years ago and has evolved and the wording has changed.  I don't think a single person can claim credit, but it's so damn accurate, "when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."  

I encourage everybody to faithfully accept your differences. To recognize your differences. To be aware of what somebody may have had to go through to get to where we are today. Until we are all the same, there will always be stereotypes and assumptions (ironically, I have made a lot of assumptions here). I don't want us to be the same though. I want us to be real.

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Me. June 1983.

If I had to pick a single song to be the soundtrack to this post it would be...