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| Us in November 2007, a month before most of these events. |
Kharla and I had been dating for over
a year. We still lived on different sides of town, we still worked
different schedules. Outside of work, we spent most of our time
together. Out of the blue one day she told me her ring size. Ok,
cool. I guessed she wanted a ring for her birthday, or Valentine's
day maybe? I had gotten her earrings and bracelets and necklaces
before. I knew what she was hinting at but was terrified. I would
convince myself to playing dumb.
“Do you have my dad's phone number?” she asked me another time. What? “Why would I have your dad's number?” I queried. “Oh, you never know when you may need it." That question really was random to me. I mean, I knew she didn't have my parent's number. Girls are weird.
And yet on another occasion she told
me her family was traditional. If any guy ever wanted to ask her to
marry him, he'd better ask her dad first. I was like, “Oh year?
Would said guy expect a nice dowry in return?” She did not find
humor in that. Kharla was dead serious.
Lastly, in case the situation ever came up, I was informed that princess cut diamonds were the prettiest and white gold was the preferred metal. What the hell is a princess cut diamond?!
She will deny it to this day, but the
pressure put on me to pop the question was mounting. I reached a
point where ignoring the obvious and playing dumb would do us both a
disservice.
The thing is though, I'm not outgoing.
I'm not assertive. I'm kind of a coward. I didn't really need to
think about it. I knew I wanted to marry that girl. But going
through the process, taking the steps was scary. I knew she'd say
yes, but...what if she didn't? Really, she would say yes. But I had
to pick the right ring. I had to say the right thing to her dad. I
had to say the right thing in the right way at the right time to her.
What if I fumbled? What if I stumbled? What if I mumbled? I knew
I was going to do it. But did I have to? I wanted to. But could I?
I went to a national jewelry store
armed with knowledge. I knew I wanted white gold. I knew the size,
and I knew about princess cut diamonds and I knew my budget. The
salesperson was a nice lady who helped me pick out a ring based on my
needs. Funny how that ring was exactly at my price limit though.
But I loved how it looked and felt confident Kharla would as well.
“Let me run your credit,” she said. A few minutes later she came
out with a smile the size of a Cadillac. She told me my credit was
great and said I was approved to buy a ring more than double the
cost. “No thanks!” I told her, dashing her dreams at a higher
commission. This was the ring for us a few minutes ago, it still is
our ring. Besides, if all goes well, I would have to pay for a
wedding.
Next up was a dreaded phone call to
her dad. As horrible as I am in conversation face to face, phone
calls are worse. He lived about four hours away, so a phone call was
the way to go. I called him up.
“Hello?”'
“Hi, Abe?”
“Yes”
“This is Jeremy, how are you doing?”
“Good, you?”
“I'm good. Um... I love Kharla.”
“Okay.”
“I'm going to ask her to be my wife
if that is okay with you.”
“Ok”
“Ok. Adios amigo.”
“Adios.”
And that was it. Really awkward, but
relatively painless. I hoped he understood what I was asking, and I
hoped he wouldn't tell her about our conversation.
It came time to pick up the ring. The
salesperson was happy and said it was gorgeous and wished me luck. I
had all my certificates and had to plan my proposal. I went to Hobby
Lobby and bought a small wood box.
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| Sadly, ten years later the swinging latch thingy has broken off. |
It was perfect for holding the
ring box, inside of which would be the ring. I then found a small
cardboard box to put the wood box in. I got somebody to wrap that
box. It was Christmas time. I was going to propose Christmas Eve
night.
I tried to write out what I would say
to her but I never could get around to it. Screw it! Sometimes,
with the important stuff I'm a procrastinator. I'll wing it.
Christmas eve was at her place. Apparently my paper Christmas Tree
taped to my wall wasn't good enough. I thought it was charming. She
disagreed. Kharla opened a huge gift I got her. It was a high
quality Gustav Klimt lithograph in a very overpriced frame (also from
Hobby Lobby). She loved it and it still hangs over our bed ten years
later.
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Praise To Joy The God Descended |
“Kharla. You are the kindest, sweetest and most loving person I know. I spend my days looking forward to the evenings we spend together. You make me so happy and I love you so very much. I have been so lucky to know you. Kharla, will you marry me?” And she said yes. It was the best Christmas gift I ever got. It is a gift that keeps on giving.
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| Us, November 2008. 11 months after these events. |
If I had to pick a song for this post it would be...
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