My last year of High School I had quit band. I now had a different
lunch period. There were three different
lunch periods and I had always had lunch with my band friends Nick, Jess, and
others. Now I had a different period, a period where I had no friends. I picked
out a table where a couple underclassmen sat and chatted with them.
One of the kids was named Josh. His dad went to the American Legion so he knew my parents.
Josh was a short fat kid and embraced of his immaturity. The other kid’s name escapes me. Let’s call him Ben. Ben qualified for free lunch. I had to pay full price. My job at Burger King left me with plenty of
money to buy snacks and sodas from the vending machine. Dr. Pepper pretty much owned my school since
they paid for our field house. Our soda
machines had Dr. Pepper branding and they were stocked with Dr. Pepper, 7 UP
and RC Cola. Anyway, full priced lunch
was like $1.50. When you consider what
came with it, it’s a great deal. But I
usually opted for junk food. Whenever
the lunch was something “good” like chili, pizza, or burgers, I’d pay Ben a
dollar and he’d go get his lunch, bring it to me and I’d eat the yummy
grub. He’d go get candy and soda. Everybody is happy. This may be considered fraud but who
cares? I saved 50 cents and he got to
eat what he wanted.
I had no idea what “nookie” was. I really didn’t give a flip about horrible
Limp Bizkit either. I couldn’t even name a song title if I tried. But I was fully aware of a song that went “I
did it all for the nookie.” I knew nookie had something to do with sex.
Ben would go through the line almost every day and say to the same lunch
lady that served the main entrée, “a cookie for the nookie?” Josh and I laughed about it. Josh more so.
Toward the end of the school year though, that sweet unsuspecting lunch
lady brought him a bag of cookies she had baked. We joked that he would have to give her the
nookie, whatever that was. Maybe she
thought he really wanted cookies more than anything and just made a silly
rhyme. She granted his wish. As an act of kindness, not knowing some punk
kid was being crude.
Josh really was a punk though.
One day he asked what I was doing that day and I told him Nick and I
were going to drive to Sherman to get some new CDs that came out that day. I was going to get the new Smashing Pumpkins
and the new Bloodhound Gang. They both
came out that same day. Nick liked the
Pumpkins but wasn’t interested in getting it, he was only getting the
Bloodhound Gang album. Josh asked if he
could tag along. I said sure, I
guess. Nick was driving and Josh hopped
in the back seat on the way to Sherman.
We went to the Hastings Books and Music store. They sold music, books, comics,
toys, movies and more. We grabbed our
discs and looked around. Or at least
planned on it. Josh decided to yell out “penis!"
Nick and I were so embarrassed. We checked out quick and left. Josh ran and caught up. We left and Josh informed us that he lived in
Ector, that’s where we needed to drop him off.
It wasn’t exactly out of the way or anything, but it’s kind of something
he should have mentioned. I guess we
didn’t think he’d live in the middle of nowhere on a back road in the boonies.
Almost three months later the Pumpkins would have a concert
in Dallas. This would be the first time
I’d go to see my all-time favorite band (my first concert). I guess a couple years earlier they came to
Dallas, but I did not have the money let alone a ride to get there. Nick would join me on this trip.
I went on eBay and put in a bid for a couple of
tickets. Then I noticed I screwed
up. Bad.
I entered a max bid of $55 for a single ticket. Thought it was two tickets. I guess I just assumed it was. Damn.
I opened my mouth and mentioned this to Josh. I told him my max bid and how I hoped
somebody would outbid me. When I got
home I checked the status of the auction.
Crap! Somebody must have bid just
under my max bid because my price went up.
I was at like $54.50 or something.
It was just so weird. Next day at
lunch Josh asked me with a smile on his face, “How is the eBay auction going?”
“Terrible! Somebody bid just under my max bid!’ He laughed and told me he knew. He had bid me up. It was a big joke to him. Son of a gun!
I went home and I searched and searched all the eBay fine
print. We didn’t have Google in
2000. We had Yahoo! and Excite. I kept digging. Hogging up our phone line. And there it was! BID RETRACTION POLICY. I needed a valid reason to retract my
bid. Misreading one ticket for two was
not going to cut it. I was going to have
to lie. My max bid was $50.00. I explained that my fingers slipped on my
keyboard and I meant to bid $25.00. And
my excuse was accepted. Now Josh was the
high bidder! I bid again armed with the knowledge of his max His. Now his bid was like
$54.50. I was off the hook. The auction ended that night.
The next day I went to lunch all smug. I expected Josh to be upset. I asked him if he needed a ride to the
concert. He had no clue what I was
talking about. I told him I got my bid
retracted and already was bidding on another set of tickets (this time I did
not give him any details on the auction).
He was shocked. How did I do that?
I told him I’d never tell him. I
told him to enjoy the show by himself.
He wasn’t bothered. He just
wouldn’t pay.
I was disappointed. I
wanted Josh to be livid. He just brushed
it off. I guess I should not have been
so surprised that a kid that yells “penis” in public and goes out of his way to
screw over others for no reason would also be a deadbeat. Still though, I got out of getting screwed
and still got two tickets to the show.
More on the concert later.
###
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| Me in 2000. Sunny Delight grosses me out so much now. |
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