The Ozzman Cometh

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I took a drafting class my junior year of high school.  I don’t know how that was a class.  I gained absolutely nothing out of it.  We had a CAD Machine that did not work.  I don’t remember much of it other than drawing out some designs from different perspectives.  Anyway, one day I asked permission to go to the library.  I was back from surgery  and needed time to research for my paper on Dracula.  A classmate of mine also asked and was allowed to join me.

The kid was Johnathon T.  We made it to the library and I got bored of reading and Johnathon?  I’m not sure what he was doing.  I went and sat down at the computer (this was back when the library had only two computers.)  I nodded over to Johnathon to come over here.  I navigated to an Ozzfest or Ozzy Osbourne website.  There were these awesome looking stick figure guys.  I don’t know why but it was amazing in the moment.  I asked if he wanted me to print some of them and he said, “Sure.”  I don’t even know if he liked metal. I just assumed he did because of how he dressed.  He had shoulder length curly black hair.  He had had an accident or something because he was missing the tip of a few fingers.  Johnathon was a grade below me and always wore jeans with holes, plain black t-shirts and flannel shirts.  I didn’t really know him, but he seemed the type of person I would be cool with.  I printed away, and we clicked around the website.  Until the librarian approached.

I had not realized that the 3 or 4 stick figures I printed were dozens.  Like 20 pages worth.  And inappropriate.  Flipping the bird, bloody axes.  Stuff like that.  She sent us to the principal with the evidence.  The principal’s office was not a place I was familiar with.  I had never ever been sent there.  Something told me that Johnathon was no stranger to Principal Clark.  We sat next to each other across from the old guy.  He initially focused his attention to Johnathon, assuming I was some innocent bystander.  And it was understandable.  He was obviously a seasoned vet (not to mention that a few years ago out of curiosity I searched the sex offender registry for my hometown.  Sure, enough Johnathon was there.  Why was I shocked a guy that went by the nickname “Sugar Bear” would be there?).  Me, the honest and guilty party here immediately took full blame.  I insisted on Sugar Bear’s, I mean Johnathon’s, innocence.  Johnathon was sent back to drafting class with a warning and I was alone.

My stellar reputation, (or lack of reputation) had the principal at a loss.  He struggled to come up with a proper punishment.  In fact, I negotiated the terms of my sanction.  Call my parents?  Detention?  Two weeks.  I talked him down to one week of preschool detention.  I would come to school 30 minutes early and sit in the front hallway that was perpendicular to the administrative offices.  That experience was just the weirdest thing. Can you imagine having so much input on how you would be punished?  I know Johnathon would not have gotten that same courtesy.

The way that negotiation went down was absurd.  What I printed out was absurd.  The fact that I liked the images was absurd.  But I came out fine, nothing bad was done, so I felt that the punishment fit the crime.  Definitely more than what the other guy would have gotten.

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