Darth Vader and the Silver Spoon

My wife and I had been married a year and a half in August 2000.  We had been to Germany two years before to see my family and now it was time to see hers in California.  We were going Hollywood baby.

I had mentioned to the executive producer of a talk show at my work that I was going to Los Angeles for a week.  She told me that she could probably get me to the taping of a TV show.  Maybe even the Price is Right! Come on down! A few days later she informed me that Price is Right was on hiatus but I could get to a taping of Jimmy Kimmel Live.  Sure!  That’d be great.  She corresponded with her contact and got me  the info.  Where to go, when to go, whose name to mention.

Where?  El Capitan Theatre on Hollywood Blvd off N Highland Ave. 

Photos from the private Jones Family photo Album. 2010

When?  Midafternoon.  The show taped at 5pm.  Yep, Jimmy Kimmel Live wasn’t actually live.  It was taped about three hours before it airs.

That’s cool.  Have lunch.  Spend a few hours in Hollywood.  Go to the taping.  Have dinner.  Wonderful.  I’m a nerd and I make schedules.  I’m an anal nerd and the schedules are made in a spreadsheet and every minute is planned for.  And every time, before the end of breakfast, the plans are thrown out the window.  But I planned this out any way. With something like a TV taping, you had to be there on time.  Same thing with flights too.

When booking our flights, we didn’t take the fastest and cheapest flight.  My wife boycotted the state of Arizona, so no layovers in Phoenix.  Thanks to SB1070 we stopped in Denver on the way there and Vegas on the way back.  Hooray racism.  Jan Brewer was such a mess.

August 2010 issue of Spirit. Took some serious googling to find this picture.

So anyway, we flew Southwest Airlines.  Love them by the way. And I read their in-flight magazine Spirit (it’s since been renamed to Southwest the Magazine).  And I actually read most of it.  There was a sandwich theme and I read the editor’s note that discussed the dubious history of one of mankind’s greatest inventions.  Jon Montagu of Sandwich…the Earl of Sandwich.  Yeah, he supposedly had his servant put meat on bread while he gambled and stuff.  Cool story.  Not as cool as the Dracula myth of my mom’s hometown  but still cool, and certainly more plausible.

Serious thanks go out to the fine folks at Southwest The Magazine.  They not only sent me a
huge PDF file of the 10-year-old magazine, but they offered to mail me a physical copy!
Thanks guys!

Kharla's family was great.  The weather was great.  Universal Studios was great.  Griffin Observatory was great.  The Getty Museum was great.  Santa Monica was great.  But I’m not here to talk about any of that.  I’m here to talk about Jimmy Kimmel.

So we got there early and were on the list to hang out in the hospitality room.  That’s the infamous “green room” you hear about.  There were free drinks, free snacks, preseason football on big screen TV’s, Ricky Schroder, pool tables.  Wait, what?  My wife pointed him out to me and I corrected her (as I’m prone to do),  “That’s not Ricky Schroder, that’s RICK Schroder, he goes by Rick now.”  I told her we should leave him alone.  He must get bugged all the time.  Let’s just be cool like we belong here.

We were told to get to the studio, the taping would begin soon, about half an hour.  We went there.  It’s much smaller than it looks on TV.  After a while the last person was seated, it was Rick Schroder.  And he was directly behind my wife and me.  Why would Rick Schroder be in the studio audience for one of these?  Between Silver Spoons and NYPD Blue surely, he was a talk show fixture. I leaned over and told my wife, “I bet we’ll be seen on TV.  I bet he’s part of a segment in the show.”  Kharla turned around and stuck out her hand.  “Mr. Schroder, we are big fans.  It’s great to see you!”  He replied in kind and we turned around.

Jimmy came out to applause.  He was much smaller in person than what the TV makes appear.  Sense a pattern here?  He told us what to expect.  Told us we’d have a good time.  Then he introduced Don Barris, the warm up act.  Comedian Don Barris was bald and dressed really well.  They’re all professional here.  Except for maybe Guillermo, the famous parking security guy for Jimmy.  Anyway, It was a maybe ten minute set.  Filthy dirty language that would never be seen on network TV but it really did its job.  It loosened up the audience and got us ready for some TV.

Some producer came out and coached us.  Told to exaggerate everything.  Enjoy the show.  Hayden Christensen would be the first guest.  Followed by Chriss Angel. And lastly, a band we hadn’t heard of. 

The show open began and Jimmy came out.  I don’t remember his opening monologue, just that it was mildly funny and we had to ham it up with our laughter and applause.  We were told we’d feel silly but the energy looks great on TV.

The first guest, Christiansen came out.  He was promoting his new movie Takers.  That movie was coming out, I have never seen it. Probably never will.  Nobody cared.  It was forgettable.  Though I guess it was a modest hit at the time.  Hayden was, and always will be known as Anakin Skywalker.  Though he did star in Life as a House which may or may not have made me cry. 

God bless Jimmy.  He worked hard to make the interview interesting.  But Hayden was boring.  He had the charisma and demeanor of…Anakin Skywalker.  He did have a memorable anecdote though (for me at least.)  He talked about visiting the town of Sandwich outside London.  And eating sandwiches.  See, the Earl of Sandwich invented the sandwich a few hundred years before.  What?  Hayden Christensen flies Southwest too?  Sweet!  This guy was a movie star.  He’s promoting a movie.  He’s Anakin freaking Skywalker.  He’s talking about sandwiches.  A story he read about probably a few hours before.

Following the interview Jimmy teased Chriss Angel and musical guest Ozzy Osborne.  What?  Did they change music guests?  We broke for a few minutes and Angel came out.  He got a good pop from the audience.  Maybe too much of a pop?  Dude has his fans I guess.  All I remember about this was going to break and a drunk Angel fan was escorted out by security.  This is probably why these shows aren’t live.  After Angel’s segment Jimmy again teased Ozzy.  That was essentially the end of the taping.

Rick (he goes by Ricky again) Schroder got up first and left.  He was not in a segment.  He was just in the audience to watch.  I guess after 30 years in the business he still finds entertainment in something like this?  Even if he's a friend of one of the guests hanging with him, he could have just stayed in the dressing room.  That's cool.  I would have thought he would take experiences like that for granted. Appreciate the little things like this.

Then producers and floor crew herded us all like cattle to a different studio made to look like a bar with a stage. We were told that the original band announced would perform.  Apparently musical acts are taped days in advance.  We couldn’t leave.  They need all 100 or so of us in the audience to remain and cheer.  And we did.  The band was okay.  You feel bad for a band performing in front of a captive audience that never heard of them.

After the band, we were allowed to leave.  Was it worth it to blow a couple of hours of our vacation?  I dunno.  I guess so.  So, we could say we were at a network TV taping maybe?  We had dinner.  I think maybe we even had sandwiches?  Then we went “home” to Kharla’s cousin’s house and went to sleep. 

Did a lot happen in this story?  Not really.  But as Hayden Christiansen said (without actually saying it), maybe even the most mundane things are worth remembering, worth chronicling, memorializing.  Maybe not everybody’s life is as interesting as you think.  People can relate to the small.  Can’t necessarily relate to a rich kid’s movie star lifestyle.  We can all relate to sandwiches.