A few weeks ago, I wrote an entry that reminded me of my dear friend Nick Warren (yes, the same Nick that taught me what a Lesbian was). It’s odd, but it just made me think of one brief moment with my old friend. John H, Nick, and I were in the Deep Ellum area of Dallas.
I believe we were going to an Our Lady Peace concert. We had to park several blocks away from the venue and strolled under a couple overpasses after dark. We walked past an old panhandler, “Excuse me gentlemen, can you spare any money so I can get my AIDS medication?” John and I shot him down quickly as we hurried past him. Nick stayed behind though. He pulled his old ratty wallet out and gave the guy a ten spot. Nick was like that. In more ways than one.
Jackets, wallets, whatever. If they functioned, so what if they were past their prime? He didn't care about stuff like that, but if he could bless an old stranger and maybe make him feel good for just a moment, that was better than spending $10 on a soda, Zima (he hated alcohol but Zima and Smirnoff Ice tasted good enough), or even putting it toward a new wallet. See Luke 10:25-37 and ask yourself, "Who in this case is the Samaritan and who is the Priest? The Levite?"
Nick definitely acted care free. It would not be out of bounds for some who didn’t really know him to call him lazy or aloof. But I know better. He had plenty of stuff going on and placed value on different things in his own way. Going all the back to what? 1st or 3rd grade when we made that horrible comic book together. We both had horrendous handwriting and couldn’t draw worth a lick. Neither of us cared about penmanship, especially Nick.
Our first concert was to see the Smashing Pumpkins on May 12, 2000. That was also the day of the Senior Class trip. Obviously, we skipped the trip to Beaver’s Bend State Park in Oklahoma. We had no interest in that at all. I drove to Dallas with my MapQuest printout and Nick was my navigator. It did not go well. Neither one of us had much experience driving in “the big city”. We ended up passing by the Sixth-Floor Museum and had to ask for directions at a Chinese restaurant on Commerce Street a mile or so away. The worker barely understood us and had no clue what we were talking about. Through trial and error, we made our way to the Bronco Bowl about five miles away and enjoyed the rock concert from the nosebleeds.
He was a very smart kid, but not a great student past our late High School years. We were in the gifted classes, so it was obvious to the educators that he was bright. Once in High School we were assigned to come up with our philosophy of life. I thought and thought and tortured myself wracking my brain for hours on the damn project. I came up with something lame. It was more of a brown-nosing effort on my part. I wrote down, “Education is the foundation of a successful life.” That’s not a philosophy. That’s the opening statement a teacher might tell her class on the first day of school. Nick? He didn’t care. When it was due he just wrote down, “Sometimes in life you are the windshield. Sometimes you are the bug.” I think that quote had been part of an ad campaign at the time. It was lazy, but it was honest. That was Nick. Don’t stress about things. If life is going crappy? It’ll turn around.
Another assignment had us wrap a mystery item in Christmas paper and come up with a riddle describing what was inside. Our classmates were to solve the riddle. I think I wrapped a mirror and said something like “In me you see your opposite.” Nick? He did air. And didn’t even use Christmas wrapping. He took notebook paper and carefully folded it into a cube and taped it up. Mrs. Reece , our teacher, called him out in front of the class, “Are there presents wrapped like that under the tree at your house?” He said, “No.” He was embarrassed for like a minute. But he followed the assignment. Do what’s required, nothing more.
His generosity on display in the 7th grade at Sandy Lake Amusement Park. It was a band trip for a competition. Our buddy Jess was with us and wanted something to take home as a souvenir. Nick gave him $20. To a 7th grader in 1995 that was a lot of money. Nick didn’t care though, his friend wanted money to be happy and Nick gave it to him. He had and he gave. Making his buddy happy was worth $20 to him.
Nick was my first friend to get a job. He was almost a year older than me and as soon as he turned 16 he began working at the new Majestic 6 movie theater in Bonham. I believe he worked there all throughout High School. Between making good grades in school, being in band, and working part time, he didn’t put much importance in doing asinine homework assignments.
We were in band together from 7th grade all the way through 11th grade when I quit. I think he may have quit because of me, I kinda hope I didn’t influence him though, but he was old enough to make his own choice. That whole time we’d usually sit next to each other on the bus. One time I brought a portable CD player and just put my head phones on and spaced out. I guess I was bopping my head wildly or something because Nick got my attention and asked what I was listening to. It was a catchy as hell song by The Spin Doctors called, “What time is it?” I handed the head phones over to him and gave it another spin for him and he instantly approved. For the next five or six years that became an inside thing for us. One of us would say, “What time is it!?!?” and the other, “4:30!”
“It’s no late”
“Naw, naw”
"It’s early.”
Stupid thing, but we loved it.
Know how in High School certain activities would merit getting a wood yard sign? Like football, band, cheer, etc…? If not, maybe it’s a Texas thing. Anyway, before Nick got a red Pontiac Sunbird, he had this old station wagon. He referred to her as the Shaggin’ Wagon (my car was a 1989 Red Ford Escort I called Whore House Red). Well, he never bothered locking it. I think we were Sophomores, Bernadette Spruce and a couple other people figured out it was not locked and after school Nick found the Shaggin’ Wagon packed full of dozens of wooden yard signs. Lesson learned? I’d like to say he locked his car after that, but I really don’t know.
Bernadette attacked me once for sticking up for Nick. After eating lunch, I was sitting outside the band hall with him and Jim Skinner. They were playing Magic the Gathering. I was just there observing. She walked by and said something rude about them and told them to stop. I shot back something like, “They can do what they want!” She walked up and stood behind me and dug her fingernails into my scalp. That hurt so bad. I’m surprised I didn’t bleed from my head. Eventually I would teach Nick how to play 66 and we’d play that from time to time. Bernadette apparently didn’t have a problem with that, she never assaulted me again.
Nick was into “nerdy” stuff like Magic. But mainly his nerd credentials banked on the fact that he was one of the first of our generation in our nook of the world that had a computer. I know, it’s very mainstream today, but in the early 1990’s people thought of pocket protectors and eyeglasses held together by tape. No “cool” kids played games on the computer. I’d make use of Nick’s computer a few times, back before Wikipedia, Encarta was the go to computer Encyclopedia. Nick had it. I had an entire Encyclopedia set from when Jimmy Carter was president. That made him a nerd? Hell no. Nick was ahead of his time. He was groundbreaking. He went on to basically be a free IT guy at our high school for a year or so. That is how far in the forefront Nick was at computers. He was a student tasked with helping run our network at school. It was a “class”. It was free labor.
We both joined a robotics team our Junior and Senior years. Our Junior year Nick and I helped come up with the theory of how we wanted our bot to operate and look, and worked minimally in the shop constructing it. The team missed out on making it to the state finals. Our Senior year the robot was even named after a mascot Nick came up with. He brought over some old coconut with a face carved in it named Coconut Joe. At competition dozens of us chanted “Coconut Joe! Coconut Joe!” as our drivers remotely controlled our creation. We had less to do with design that year but ran the web page (sadly angelfire pulled the inactive web page years ago). Nick was the official photographer and I was the webmaster. The team did well enough to go to state at College Station. Texas A&M baby! We did mediocre in the finals but it was a blast. Nick, JC, some other kid named Nathan, and I were roomies at La Quinta Inn. Mr. Vaught, our physics teacher and the guy running the team, got complaints about us. More than once he came to our room and warned us to quiet down. He’d take away our extra credit and split us up. Swear to God I was innocent. No, really. It was the other three who were running around screaming having too much of the sillies. Honestly. And it was refreshing. I wasn’t used to Nick cutting loose like that.
After graduation Nick’s “nerdy” exploits continued through college. He had turned me onto the game Diablo in High School and going into college we all (Nick, John, Steven, Maurice, and I) played Diablo II. We’d go on Battlenet and team up or have battles. Of course, we all also watched Battle Bots together.
There’s two signature events in Nerditude that stick out to me though. One morning I woke up and Nick was already awake. No, wait. He was wearing the clothes he had worn the day before. He was at this laptop typing away. He was into some text based online video game called New Moon (it was a MUD and Nick was in a guild or something). I asked him if he went to bed at all the night before. “Uh, I forgot to sleep,” was his answer. And I believe him. How did a 19-year-old stay up and play a computer game from 10PM to 8:30AM? Nick lived off of Mountain Dew (the energy drink of our time), pop tarts and hot pockets (John did teach him how to cook pigs in a blanket, which Nick mastered). And yeah, quarter-pounders with cheese “plain and dry”. All that caffeine and sugar. He pretty much went to bed instead of class that day.
There’s two signature events in Nerditude that stick out to me though. One morning I woke up and Nick was already awake. No, wait. He was wearing the clothes he had worn the day before. He was at this laptop typing away. He was into some text based online video game called New Moon (it was a MUD and Nick was in a guild or something). I asked him if he went to bed at all the night before. “Uh, I forgot to sleep,” was his answer. And I believe him. How did a 19-year-old stay up and play a computer game from 10PM to 8:30AM? Nick lived off of Mountain Dew (the energy drink of our time), pop tarts and hot pockets (John did teach him how to cook pigs in a blanket, which Nick mastered). And yeah, quarter-pounders with cheese “plain and dry”. All that caffeine and sugar. He pretty much went to bed instead of class that day.
The other incident was at New Pride. Nick, John and Maurice were all my roommates. Eric had come over. He was our manager at the movie theater where Nick, John, and I worked. They played Dungeons and Dragons. Not me. I slept. They weren’t just playing D&D, they played D&D with the soundtrack to Lord of the Rings serving as background music. And that was fine. For a while. 3 AM rolled around and I had had enough. I got out of bed and stared into the living room. I imagined laser beams from my eyes blasting at each of them between their eyes. “Guys! Isn’t it a little late? I got class in the morning.” They apologized and I went back to my room. I heard Eric say, “Geez guys, Jeremy is a little anti-social, isn’t he?” That made me laugh.
Nick would be John and mine’s designated driver for a couple years. Nick didn’t like the taste of beer and sure didn’t care to pretend to. He could handle a Smirnoff Ice on occasion though. He’d put up with my unspoken pot habit The three of us worked at Commerce Cineplex for two years together. Gosh, we spent so much time together. Occasional classes when possible, roommates, work. It was a fun job too. Free movies and late nights. One time though, it was either his aloofness or an assumption that he heard me that could have ended with serious injury for me.
I was cleaning out the popcorn machine and broke the heating lamp still in the outlet. Nearby Nick swept the floor. I asked him to unplug the machine while I retrieved a pair of pliers. I stepped away a moment to grab the tool. Upon my return I assumed he had done as I asked and pinched the broken bulb base with no hesitation. Was gonna give a good squeeze and uncork that bad boy. Only I didn’t. It probably lasted a fraction of a second but felt like half a minute. It burned so bad. My arm, my heart, my ears. My teeth clenched so tight I thought my jaw broke. And then clank! The pliers hit the metal grate at the bottom of the popper. I leaned against the counter and took a moment to rest. My hands moved to my knees and my head went between as I breathed deeply. I was thankful to live but pissed. Nick was truly sorry, and I was for him. I knew he felt horrible about it.
One Christmas there was a Secret Santa thing going on at the movie theater. I think the limit was $20. Eric was my Secret Santa and got me a 12 inch Ash (the main character from the Evil Dead movie series. John, Nick, and I loved those movies). It was really cool and, in fact, my awesome wife got it autographed for me last year at a Bruce Campbell (the actor who portrayed Ash) book signing. I loved it. Knick Knacks and things to keep around on display are my thing. After like 16 years I still have that thing. Anyway, I was Nick's Secret Santa. I got him a box of ramen noodles from the grocery store. $20 worth of ramen. That's like 80 packages. He loved it. It was functional. He ate all of them within a couple of months. It was something so simple, I really didn't put much thought into it. But I guarantee Nick appreciated it as much I appreciated Eric's gift.
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| He signed the chainsaw! |
One Christmas there was a Secret Santa thing going on at the movie theater. I think the limit was $20. Eric was my Secret Santa and got me a 12 inch Ash (the main character from the Evil Dead movie series. John, Nick, and I loved those movies). It was really cool and, in fact, my awesome wife got it autographed for me last year at a Bruce Campbell (the actor who portrayed Ash) book signing. I loved it. Knick Knacks and things to keep around on display are my thing. After like 16 years I still have that thing. Anyway, I was Nick's Secret Santa. I got him a box of ramen noodles from the grocery store. $20 worth of ramen. That's like 80 packages. He loved it. It was functional. He ate all of them within a couple of months. It was something so simple, I really didn't put much thought into it. But I guarantee Nick appreciated it as much I appreciated Eric's gift.
I was the first of us to graduate college. Only took me 3 ½ years, I took summer and winter sessions every chance I could. Consequently, I was the first of us to get a “real job”. I would see my bro’s a lot less following graduation. I’d use Nick to try and hook up with Jennifer and that failed. I recruited John to help me move into my first apartment in Sherman, Texas. That was a bit of an adventure because I borrowed Dad’s friend’s truck and John’s trailer. John made me drive. I never drove with a trailer before, let alone in reverse. Nick and Jeffrey came over once. It was Nick’s first time over and he was genuinely hurt that I hadn’t called him to help me move. It just never occurred to me. Shame on me. That was probably the last time I ever saw Nick in person. That was back in 2005. The last conversation I had with him was, I think, late December 2007 after I got engaged. Though it may have been even before then. I never have been fond of phones.
The next month, January, I got an instant message from John that Nick had passed away.
I was at work. I closed the door to my office and I cried. What the hell was this bullshit? We were 26 and supposed to be fucking invincible. I IM’d another mutual friend, Jeffery. I just said, “WTF?” he replied, “Yeah, I know. I’m shaking.” I asked if he knew what had happened. He didn’t. I still don’t know what the cause was. I’m too embarrassed to flat out ask.
I was ashamed. I know I was 200 miles away but I should have made better effort to be closer to him. But that’s what I do. I let Bryce drift away. John, I tried half-heartedly to keep him in whatever broken circle I could possibly mend but it’s a combination of laziness on my part and work and nuclear family and growing up.
My fiancé Kharla and I made it down for the funeral. My gosh there were hundreds of people. It was a fitting testament to both the quality young man Nick was and to the high esteem the community held his family. I saw a handful of people I hadn’t seen in seven or nine years. People I haven’t seen in the dozen years since. The pastor went over Nick’s biography and said something that was truer than just about anything anybody could say about Nick. I guess they were going through his personal items and found an old Jacket with a concert ticket in his pocket. The ticket had been from years before. Maybe I’m self-centered (obviously, on a blog of memories), and trying to make it about me, but I assumed that that ticket was from the Our Lady Peace show, or maybe even older from when we went to see the Pumpkins. Hell, the jacket may have been from the same time for all I know.
I have no family left in Bonham. I don’t really have many friends anymore. I probably haven’t been to my home town in four or five years, for my mom’s wedding. I visited Nick’s grave once. It was the summer in either 2008 or 2009. Probably 2008, I think my Dad may have still been alive. I brought with me my only copy of the Spin Doctors album and a letter. I left the stuff there in a Ziploc bag and had one last conversation with my dear old friend.
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